Yes to all of this article. I have been experiencing something similar this week as my mom is up to visit and scatter dad’s ashes.
My brother took off for a week of fishing the second she stepped off the plane, and just left her with his son. No warning. He and his wife are divorcing, and she had left three days prior to drive the Alcan back home to Oklahoma.
My mother is frantically trying to get their house ready to sell because neither of them have lifted a finger in that direction yet.
But my mother is singularly focused on the wife’s ineptitude. 100% of the blame is on her because “what kind of woman just leaves not a shred of toilet paper in her home when she ups and leaves her child.
Now. This was a plan. Mom came up to fly the nephew home with her, where he will meet up with mom. And then it is my BROTHER who will have the better part of a summer without parental responsibility.
But no problem that he took off for one of the two weeks he has left with his son.
And he was home for three days without the wife before mom got here. Didn’t seem super pressed to pick up some TP.
My mother did EVERYTHING in our family. My dad was free to be totally irresponsible and uninvolved and she just stepped up with an on top smile and a seethe underneath.
Anyway, so now what I see so much of in the world is the way we cheer men on for the smallest, barely inspired accomplishment. Just look at our president. By being so spectacularly horrible he has reset our whole perception on the expectation of the office. If he manages not to blatantly insult or molest someone, or gets mooooost of the facts about a subject kinnnnd of right, the moment is deemed a success.
And like my mother, women have a big hand in perpetuating this idea. We are conditioned to expect SO LITTLE from men…he yells? We should just be glad he doesn’t hit us. He hits us? Well at least he doesn’t hit us in the face…
This whole idea of men as inept and unable to change is hurting all of us. Beyond parenting….everywhere. Thanks for this article.