Oct 28, 2016

2 min read

Wise, wise decision. Sweet girl (because I do just think you seem like such a kind, empathetic person.), you do not NEED to look at the comments and you sure as SHIT don’t need to defend yourself against another breed of predator regarding the same incidents from which you’ve already suffered trauma once! I know it’s human nature to want to explain, and justify, and defend actions that we know were taken with the best of intentions but the reality is that there are always going to be people who disagree, and there are always going to be people who don’t really give a shit, but who find entertainment value in getting you all riled up and re-traumatized.

And you are an amazing writer with the potential to influence other victims of assault, as well as change the lives of young women who hear your story and because of it, decide against making a choice that otherwise could have led to violence or rape or some other experience that would damage them forever.

Not to mention the men and boys who read your story and decide to stop a behavior they didn’t realize was necessarily wrong. Or who decide they will never treat a woman that way!

Because you have such a powerful voice, it is especially important that you learn not to engage with these emotional vampires.

You keep sharing your stories, and you stick close to the people you trust, and you set strict boundaries, and you ADHERE TO THEM.

You can be safe online, but you have to learn to turn away from the temptation to “prove yourself” or to change the minds of those clearly not interested in changing. It’s okay if they don’t like you or what you stand for.

Because guess what?

We don’t fucking like them, either.

I still don’t know what I want to be when I grow up, but I know I want it to be spelled right and punctuated correctly. I guess that’s something.

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