We survived it. My daughter spent those four months under her desk at school, which i didn’t find out until i met with her second grade teacher.

My ex had left it up to her, whether to see me or talk to me or not. So while he’s raging about me in front of my kids, he’s telling my 7 year old it’s up to her whether to talk to mommy or not. She’s told me since that she was afraid that if she told him she missed me, he would hate her too. :(

That time really damaged her, and I can’t undo it. I do what i can. I make a living amends by always being available to her. She has abandonment issues and oscillates between really clingy and really distant. Fourteen is hard all over.

now, though, he’s doing to her what he did to me. She’s forming her own opinions about the world and they don’t always match his and he does not tolerate dissent well at all. So he’s driving her away. It’s really sad, but I saw it coming. And he doesn’t see how LUCKY we are. She’s a beautiful person, full of promise and joy and talent, with a dark side that WE GAVE HER and all he sees is darkness.

Stupid fool.

I still don’t know what I want to be when I grow up, but I know I want it to be spelled right and punctuated correctly. I guess that’s something.

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