Very familiar with the principles of Alanon and let me just say, freedom comes when the family member realizes that, no. They DON’T have to. And that doesn’t have to mean divorce or separation or any kind of break. The miracle of Alanon ( and AA, as well) is that if you are willing to follow the steps, you can detach with love. Even if your alcoholic keeps drinking, you can learn to live outside of that prison you’ve put yourself in “supporting” them. You get to LET THEM GROW UP. they deserve the chance. And the steps feel daunting and like they’ll never end at first, but become second nature so that a point comes when you’re both always working the steps and NEVER working the steps…because you’re living them. It’s pretty cool.