File it under
Things I Can’t Believe it Took Me 40 Years to Realize, Considering I am a Fairly Intelligent Person With A Decent Amount Of Experience in this Particular Area of Expertise
It’s basically this:
Regarding the icky love stuff, the words
“We are so much ALIKE!”,
expressed as an excited utterance at or near the beginning of a hopeful union, are probably not forecasting longevity, and actually, you may want to just get goodbye out of the way while it’s not yet painful.
Now, by alike, I don’t mean in common. It’s great to have things in common with anyone you date, or befriend, or play golf with.
I’m talking about an overlap in crazy.
Matching quirks. Neuroses. Mental illnesses. Damaged parts.
It’s great to feel understood. It’s great to feel like you’re not the only one who did that-whatever that may be. It all feels very bond worthy.
But, people don’t usually possess the ability to recognize, in the midst of their crazy, when they’ve gone off track, or
When they’re making a not-at-all-fabulous choice. So someone just like me is a blind spot for me, as am I for them.
We need people whose crazy complements ours. Kind of like angles. Except for the right ones, two identical angles can never add up to a straight line.
(Yeah, I know. Not a perfect analogy, hence, the qualifier. Just kind of perfect.)
A complementary person. Someone who can see with clear perspective where we are in relation to reality, and recognize when we’re vulnerable, and extra-flawed, and police that shit. And we need to do that for them.
It’s true that two like souls might burn brightly (and sometimes hot as Hell)
But the brighter the burn, and the hotter the fire,
the more that crash is going to hurt.
Especially when no one saw it coming.