Totally. How did you know? Are you bugging my house?

Um… it’s nice to meet you, too. But I feel at a disadvantage, as you’ve been observing me from afar via hidden camera for who knows how long, and I only just learned who you are.

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See? A compliment!

I live in Anchorage, Alaska, so I hope we can be friends. I could claim the friendship on my taxes as part of my selfless work towards a more harmonious relationship between Alaska and Texas.

ON LUBBOCK

I love Texas. Especially Lubbock. I grew up in Hobbs, NM, but I got my root canals in Lubbock.

Some of the best memories of my life.

ON PROM WITH MICHELLE’S MAN

I went to prom with my friend Michelle’s boyfriend because her parents forbade her to date him. He was Mormon and she was Orthodox something or other. She took some random guy friend of hers and I got stuck with him all night. I never saw him again, but Michelle and Isaac have been married for over twenty years now. Her parents eventually let them date, but I’m pretty sure they were already married by then.

There’s other stuff, but if I give everything away right up front, you’ll stop respecting me.

Also, it’s 2 a.m. and I’m too old to pull an all nighter.

Sleep tight.

It was nice meeting you.

I still don’t know what I want to be when I grow up, but I know I want it to be spelled right and punctuated correctly. I guess that’s something.

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