There’s an AA speaker named Earl Hightower and he talks about “Right here, right now” being all we have. He illustrates by clapping his hands together twice in rapid succession. He says the hardest place to be is right here, right now. Even though there literally IS NOTHING ELSE.
He talks about how we plan for outcomes that may never occur, and in the process we MISS THE PROCESS. He illustrates, “We’re here, listening to a great speaker (hardyharhar he’s making fun of himself), and then afterwards, there’s gonna be a dance.
We don’t really know until it happens, do we? But we THINK we do. We really think we know.
he says the biggest gift he was ever given was
RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW back because he hadn’t lived there in 20 years. And I totally get that. Addicts and alcoholics; our whole PURPOSE is trying to find ways to GET OUT OF RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW and be ANYWHERE ELSE.
You seem like you are one of those mindful sorts, and I’m kind of envious because it is a constant, all day long every second, struggle for me. I drift off without even realizing it. all. the. time.
changing that is exhausting work. rewarding, but exhausting as HELL. :)