The problem with always taking the high road, or staying silent, or refusing to participate in someone else’s disordered actions, is that it’s easy to be lulled into a false sense of fair play, and you are the only one playing that way. And when someone is telling you that “this will not end well if you continue to ignore me”- which is a threat, plain and simple — and you decide to keep quiet so other people won’t have to deal with your problems…when things do, indeed, get ugly … it’s hard to be taken seriously. Because, if it was so bad, why didn’t you say something sooner?

Sorry, but that’s being female in a nutshell. Men make good on their threats every day. The best way to stay safe and whole is to be transparent and speak up.

Our voices are all we have. And I’m sick of being told to suppress mine. My desire to keep other people comfortable about things has cost me dearly.

I still don’t know what I want to be when I grow up, but I know I want it to be spelled right and punctuated correctly. I guess that’s something.

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store