The problem with always taking the high road, or staying silent, or refusing to participate in someone else’s disordered actions, is that it’s easy to be lulled into a false sense of fair play, and you are the only one playing that way. And when someone is telling you that “this will not end well if you continue to ignore me”- which is a threat, plain and simple — and you decide to keep quiet so other people won’t have to deal with your problems…when things do, indeed, get ugly … it’s hard to be taken seriously. Because, if it was so bad, why didn’t you say something sooner?
Sorry, but that’s being female in a nutshell. Men make good on their threats every day. The best way to stay safe and whole is to be transparent and speak up.
Our voices are all we have. And I’m sick of being told to suppress mine. My desire to keep other people comfortable about things has cost me dearly.