So sad. ☹

I think these moments are our way of bracing ourselves against things we don’t think we could walk through. I do it regarding my children. I don’t WANT to do it but sometimes I just do. Maybe because I almost lost one and I never want to feel that unprepared again. I don’t know. As a child, I would make up intricate fantasies in which my mother died. I would work myself into a sobbing mess and be inconsolable. My father was no one a child should ever be left alone with, so I think I was trying to protect myself by being prepared for all possible situations.

Which we know is utter bs. There are some things we can’t prepare for.

This made me so sad.

I still don’t know what I want to be when I grow up, but I know I want it to be spelled right and punctuated correctly. I guess that’s something.

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