See, I knew this had to exist somewhere. I was okay, though, with you having some weird idea of victimization. And I’ve learned some mad diplomacy skills from mom…I always try to acknowledge and validate the other person’s viewpoint, no matter how asinine, before stating mine.

I’m very agreeable. Inside, I’m hosting a WTF Conference. But I’m doing it with a smile.

Unless a man is going to try again to explain to me how women have totally destroyed the confidence of men with all of their saying no, and their lackluster reactions to men’s flattery, blah blah, blah douchecanoery…

For a while I was just going ape shit in that situation, but recently I’ve realized that a simple

Mr. Wanksack,

FUCK OFF.

Seems to shut them down more effectively than explanations and rants.

So that only took me 42 years.

What can I say? I’m a quick study.

I still don’t know what I want to be when I grow up, but I know I want it to be spelled right and punctuated correctly. I guess that’s something.

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