Let me try and explain this from my point of view, if you don’t mind.
First of all, no one was saying that one person’s opinion is more valid or acceptable than another’s. On the contrary, everyone is entitled to whatever opinion they have.
That was not the issue (and if it’s coming out as that now, then we’ve had a game of Telephone happen, because I was there at the very beginning of this thing.)
The issue is that when someone is writing about their personal experience, without condemning anyone else, and without trying to sell other people on something or other; literally the person is JUST WRITING A MEMOIR STYLE PIECE, they shouldn’t be subjected to such violent personal attacks. And make no mistake, that is exactly what this was. The person who made the statement informed me that she was basically having a shitty night and in a bad mood and so had written this piece.
“Because if someone can write about an abortion without worry of offending those against it, why should Danna care so much that her reply may have been offensive”
THERE IS A BIG DIFFERENCE BETWEEN WRITING AN OPINION PIECE, “Pro-lifers are wrong and this is why”, and someone writing a personal piece, “I had an abortion and this is how it made me feel.”
Danna doesn’t have to give a shit, and doesn’t. But if you write an opinion piece, you do so to stir people up. People write about their experiences for two reasons: to heal, or to help others.
To take offense because someone’s abortion didn’t affect them the way you imagine it would affect you is just odd. to then berate them publicly for how they reacted to an event in their own life (this woman stated that she was writing the piece she wish someone had written before she had her abortion; she WAS TRYING TO HELP OTHER WOMEN. regardless of whether or not she achieved that is irrelevant. She did not tell anyone else what they should feel, decide, do, or choose.
I’ve written here extensively about my past addictions, my relationship with my father, my son’s life-threatening illness…all hot-button topics that if i were ranting about how my way was the right way and everyone else is just stupid for not doing it my way, would be open to all sorts of criticism that i opened myself up to.
instead, i just told of my experience. and was received with love and compassion, even from people who think addicts are all losers who shouldn’t be parents, and people who think people who speak up about abuse from childhood are just making excuses, and whatever opinons people here have about my story topics. i’ve learned a lot of those things about people as i stay here longer, but never has a single person berated me about how i’ve lived my own life.
someone who supported me the most, even though i know she did not understand some of the choices i made?
so no, she is not ‘breaking any rules by saying what is on her mind about that article.
she’s just being mean.
because she KNOWS how to support a woman who has made decisions she feels are very wrong, without throwing her under the bus for her mistakes.
she knows how, because she did it with me.
she just chose not to, because she had a bad night and needed to release some steam.
I have no idea what’s transpired since this originally happened; i don’t follow danna anymore. but i’m telling you from someone who was there for that, and hasn’t been there for any of the rest of the fallout, this is the issue for me. not that she ‘shouldn’t be allowed to speak her mind’ but instead, what kind of person WANTS to do that to someone else’s story?
which of YOUR stories is going to trigger her? do you think you’d be able to brush it off because “everyone is entitled to their opinion” and “it isn’t personal” ?
because i promise you, it was absolutely personal. read it.
the woman’s STORY?
NOT PERSONAL — she was not making personal statements regarding anyone but herself.
PERSONAL. — about what a terrible PERSON this stranger was.
It’s SHAMING and it’s not okay. Legal, but not okay.