Or they just haven’t learned to allow themselves to be loved…following your logic.

That is what you’re saying, right? That we learn to love by being loved? What if someone hasn’t experienced love? It would be awfully presumptive to assume then that “they just don’t love you”?

I don’t know about this. I see where you’re coming from…

I think different types of love require different prerequisites. Parental love doesn’t require me to even be able to stand to be in the same room with myself. Also, I find it effortless to love people in general, even though right now I pretty much can’t stand myself EVER.


But I know I’m a much better partner when I am content in who I am. Otherwise I become very clingy, and needy, and look for that contentment to come from someone else. And the energy that goes into needing to be validated ( whether it’s constant sex, or cuddling, or other words that sound lovely and loving but can be anything BUT) is energy I’m NOT putting into unconditionally loving my partner.

I think it’s fair to say that you can love without loving yourself, but I think it’s quite a stretch to call the entire concept a lie.

It isn’t a lie for me.

I still don’t know what I want to be when I grow up, but I know I want it to be spelled right and punctuated correctly. I guess that’s something.

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