One more thing ( I think about this A LOT, now that the girl is only a year away from when I started having sex):
I think it’s important to be cognizant of whether we are teaching our girls how to avoid being raped vs teaching our boys not to rape. That having been said, in no way do I think it is appropriate to STOP teaching our girls to keep their guards up. I think a shift needs to be made, though, from one of strict defense ( pepper spray, keys through fingers like brass knuckles ) to one of empowerment.
We need to teach our girls to be VERY CLEAR ABOUT CONSENT.
I HATED sex. But I rarely spoke up about it. I wanted him to guess, so I wouldn’t seem like a bitch.
We need to teach our boys to read physical cues, too. Hesitation, facial and body language.
But we don’t forget to keep teaching our girls to use their voices, and every other tool in the toolkit.
Because I think a lot of girls lie there in silence wishing they had said no and just absorbing what’s happening. And I think a lot of boys aren’t able to recognize that as dissent.
Say no. Be clear. Before anyone is naked, if possible. But after if they are.