Oh, you brought lots of tears with that one. It was so very honest and raw.
Grief is such an unpredictable force. I am sending all the healing vibes I have.
My very good friend lost her mother after a brief bout with an aggressive cancer, so somewhat unexpectedly. Shortly thereafter, her lifelong dearest friend in the world; her rock after her mom passed, also died.
She laughs when people talk about the stages of grief as if they’re a linear progression. She says, “They’re more like a game of whack-a-mole, where you never know which one will pop up next, or which two, or which three. There’s no way to plan for it, and there’s no beginning or end. So perish the thought that there’s some magical span of time after which one is relatively whole again.”
She says she’ll be totally fine (her mom has been gone for over 15 years now) and she’ll be walking through the grocery store and just catch a whiff of some random scent and break down and cry, without even really understanding what about the smell triggered her.
I’m not trying to worry you, or make it worse. I am just telling you this so that you can work on surrendering any expectations or timelines you may be focused on (if you are) and work on just being there, when she needs you. And being patient when she can’t even…
After a while, things will get different. xoxo
sending thoughts of patience, understanding, and surrender.