My son was like this. Just knowing he disappointed me would undo him. ❤
I’m not anti-spanking. I believe that with certain personalities, there are moments when the only way through is a quick smack on the ass. Of course, this only has the intended impact if it shocks the child enough to influence the desired/untenable behavior. And that only happens if the child absolutely does NOT expect to be spanked.
My daughter has such a personality, and so a couple of years ago, she was exhibiting increasingly harmful behavior (harmful to me, to her brother, to herself) and so I decided, well in advance, that I was going to have to use corporal punishment (as they used to call it in school) if it happened again.
This allowed me to remain calm the next time it happened, so that I wasn’t striking her in anger. But I didn’t give her any advance warning. And I popped her pretty good on the butt.
SHE WAS STUNNED.
She just looked at me and got big tears and I walked away (and thought about calling CPS on myself). But later we discussed the incident; she said that she was sure that was the one thing she never expected and probably the only thing that would have gotten her attention.
Things aren’t perfect, but she has yet to achieve that level of destructiveness since.
I still don’t like it; i totally get why your mom couldn’t get past that. But I’m really glad that YOU understand why it happened.