my father was a violent man and I grew up to marry a violent man. I want my son to live differently. I do my best but clearly my own history and genetics have not given him the most promising start. this is why I say change is needed for everyone. not just men. men may be committing violence, but women have to break their own destructive patterns which have a part in creating violent men. it’s universal, the ways in which we are failing. men will not change without the help and support of women.