And then there’s the other same old shit: #notallmen. You make this apology in your story, and I call you on it. Because I have some extra visibility on this that most women don’t have — I had to endure men’s spaces — and I’m here to tell you, sorry but yes, pretty much all men, to some degree.
men know in their hearts where their minds go and of the men we’ve known, to a degree, so do we.
but addressing the male gender as a whole in a piece where i’m basically saying men are hypocritical pigs, when the goal of the piece is to get dudes to alter the way they interact with their children — to stop responding with that male, high-fivin’ pride when their toddler son gets a hug from a large-breasted woman and leans in, because boobs are comfy and small children like to be comfy and the message they give that boy is conspiratorial and reinforcing and will nudge the little guy into repeating the behavior to earn that reward from dad…and to stop teaching their sons to be players while teaching their daughters to not be “that kind of girl”…
when that is my goal, i find it best to try NOT to alienate the whole gender. qualifying comments temper the mood of the piece and, i believe, make the content more palatable for a larger audience.
I’m not above a little feminine manipulation if it means changing this world.
i think most people (men and women) have some character traits that they would be socially eviscerated for were they to let their freak flags fly in front of god and everyone. as long as a man knows how to treat women with respect and TRIES to behave like an enlightened being instead of a neanderthal, i’m okay with the fantasy he uses to get off containing subjugation, etc.
You should see what pops up in MY head when i need a push over the edge… ;)