Love this, love you. Wow this is a tough one to teach. I was trying to respond to you the other day and trying to figure out how to convince you he was actually the bad guy because he did SUCH a good job painting himself as the tortured addicts concerned husband and me as this crazed lunatic and IT LOOKED THAT WAY ON THE OUTSIDE. I was such a wreck. To this day, he smells like the rose. My son was running up and down the bleachers last year at my daughter’s basketball game chasing his 3 year old cousin and I said, “Alex, no! Come up here and sit next to me.” so he wouldn’t egg the baby on. Suddenly I hear this bellowing, “ARE YOU TRYING TO TELL ME MY SON CANT COME AND SEE HIS FATHER!?#?”
Everyone looked up at me like I was some monster. I didn’t even know he was THERE.
I’d never denied my ex a second with his children. When I went to treatment he got temporary custody (some of this is in my story “Mistakes”) and was supposed to bring the kids to see me. But he gave my 7 year old the choice of whether to visit. She saw how he hated me, and knew she had to live with him, and was afraid if he knew she missed me he would hate her too so she said no, and for 4 months I didn’t see it hear from them. The baby thought I died.
He used to drop by unannounced to “hug the kids”. But I couldn’t go near his house. When I finally said no more ( he had a restraining order against me, for God’s sake), he drove through my garage door. To this day he swears his car “slipped into gear” when he was innocently dropping the kids stuff off on my porch. When he easnt in it. Because, you know, that happens. He then convinced my landlord to take a payout in lieu of fixing the door so it was broken the whole 4 years I lived there. I could go on…