Aug 13, 2016

2 min read

Look. I know, as women, it’s damned hard to do what’s best for us when there are other people involved (especially a child) that we aren’t sure it’s best for. And I know he’s DD daddy. But if he really loves you, he wants you to be with someone who thinks you’re magical. and you said it here: he deserves that, too. And as women, it’s damned easy to do what’s best for other people and take our own needs out of the equation (which sucks but that’s another story).

I swear I have some sort of cohesive thought process forming here. Just try to stick with me because it’s a subject I feel passionately about and the illustration might feel offensive but it’s JUST AN ILLUSTRATION; the only one I have.

My mother has stayed with my dad (different circumstances, obvi) for 43 years and hated it for 40, and always acts like she had no choice; like he wouldn’t have been able to survive without her. He’s an asshole drunk with her, and i tell her,

Don’t you think maybe he’s felt your hatred all these years? How much do you think that made him want to drink? Did you ever think that by staying, you were denying NOT ONLY YOURSELF, BUT HIM, a chance to be with someone who loved him for who he was? You could have had a whole different life. But did you ever stop to think that maybe HE could have had a whole different life, too?

She totally stopped talking to me for like a month after I said that. So…

Your situation is nothing like that, I KNOW. And there is nothing wrong with comfortable, familiar love, if it makes you both happy. And if it does, then I say KEEP THAT BECAUSE IT’S RARE AND IT’S PRECIOUS.

But if it doesn’t make you happy, like 85% of the time, then consider what you may deprive him of by depriving yourself of something different and maybe that will help you decide.

So, no. Nothing definitive. Just something to think about. Or not. xoxo

I still don’t know what I want to be when I grow up, but I know I want it to be spelled right and punctuated correctly. I guess that’s something.

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