I’ll bet you never realized how evil these sonsabitches could be, did you?

Having trouble getting your lazy teen out of bed in the morning?

Does he hit the snooze button until you think you might murder him?

You’re at the end of your rope! You are NOT spending one more morning dragging an almost full-grown human being to the breakfast table! You are sick of having to be an asshole all the time. You used to be a MORNING person! This has GOT to change before you ship your kid to Scared Straight.

I have two words for you:



Pour them into bed with him and let the fun begin!

Not only will your teen be awake, he’ll be awake AND upright within a second or two,

via highly entertaining and satisfying dance, of sorts.

Dance, and song.

Pay attention, because you’ll never see this particular song and dance again. Once will do the trick.

And just to be on the safe side,
Wear earplugs.
Also, maybe chain mail.
A helmet couldn’t hurt.

Retaliation is not unheard of, and marbles are hard.

Problem solved.

You’re welcome.

I still don’t know what I want to be when I grow up, but I know I want it to be spelled right and punctuated correctly. I guess that’s something.

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store