Lazy Teen Life Hack

Having trouble getting your lazy teen out of bed in the morning?
Does he hit the snooze button until you think you might murder him?
You’re at the end of your rope! You are NOT spending one more morning dragging an almost full-grown human being to the breakfast table! You are sick of having to be an asshole all the time. You used to be a MORNING person! This has GOT to change before you ship your kid to Scared Straight.
I have two words for you:
FROZEN
MARBLES
Pour them into bed with him and let the fun begin!
Not only will your teen be awake, he’ll be awake AND upright within a second or two,
via highly entertaining and satisfying dance, of sorts.
Dance, and song.
Pay attention, because you’ll never see this particular song and dance again. Once will do the trick.
And just to be on the safe side,
Wear earplugs.
Also, maybe chain mail.
A helmet couldn’t hurt.
Retaliation is not unheard of, and marbles are hard.
Problem solved.