Knowing is half the battle.

As a former nervous as hell first time parent, let me just tell you, you need to relax. Babies are made to be portable. If he poops in public and there’s no bathroom or changing table available, use the floor and a blanket. He won’t care. As for other people? Any parent will understand. Non-parents don’t get to have an opinion.

Things that will happen on outings:

You will get baby poop on your clothes.

You will get spit up on your clothes.

You will get milk and food on your clothes.

I learned early on the baby wasn’t the only one who should carry a change of clothes at all times.

Your baby will cry.

Your baby will not stop crying even though it’s inconvenient .

You will figure out how to navigate all of these situations.

You will be okay.

So will Dmitri.

I still don’t know what I want to be when I grow up, but I know I want it to be spelled right and punctuated correctly. I guess that’s something.

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