Jules and Sean Howard

Literally two of my favorite people on this planet..

I am reading this beautiful, candid and raw, yet gentle exchange feeling somewhat like a voyeur stealing something rare and personal from you both and if that is the case, then I apologize.

I wanted to say something and I want you to know that I’m saying it not to cause upset or worry, because it is a good thing that sounds and sometimes feels terrible and that is okay.

This story by Jules has caused a blowout in my memory that has forced me to face something from my past that 20 years in therapy never managed to unearth.

This has had a couple of consequences for me:

I have to now re-evaluate my remaining familial relationships which is incredibly frightening and sad. I have to decide if bringing this from the darkness for my own healing is worth enough, when those involved are elderly now, or if waiting 10 years…or 20…would be kinder to them and not cause me to implode…


I have an overwhelming need to write it here, but I’m scared of what that in turn may unearth for someone else…

Please know that I’m in no way angry or upset about this new development. I am ever so grateful for Jules and her brave heart for finding this in me. Because who knows how much of my self-destruction has been brought about by something I didn’t even consciously know was there? This may change my entire life experience.

Anyway I thought this might answer some questions.

Love to you both. ❤

I still don’t know what I want to be when I grow up, but I know I want it to be spelled right and punctuated correctly. I guess that’s something.