Joanna, this hit me cold in the heart tonight, as not only is it indicative of my own experiences with men in general, it is also exactly what I’m experiencing from my own family As the one and only RECOVERING person, having ADMITTED my shortcomings and made amends to those I’ve wronged, I am ALSO now of course “THE FAMILY PROBLEM”. Because as we all know, if you just completely refuse to acknowledge your actions, most of which have been magically swept away courtesy of having been blackout drunk when they occurred, lending you infinite instances of plausible deniability (WHY IS EVERYONE AVOIDING ME THIS MORNING BOO HOO???), you have all sorts of time to find creative ways to blame the dumbass who stood up in front of God and everybody and admitted she screwed up…and sorry I’ve gotten off track. I’m falling asleep but wanted to respond first lol…

My original point was that I’m used to being scapegoated. It doesn’t even really register anymore. But I have always been able to count on my mother cheering me on, and this past couple of weeks, she’s joined the pack, because of my refusal…no…because of my inability to continue to absorb all of the hurtful things my brother and father say and do and keep up appearances as if they never actually did or said those things. I won’t. I can’t.

And I’m going to lose her over it. I know I am. :(

I still don’t know what I want to be when I grow up, but I know I want it to be spelled right and punctuated correctly. I guess that’s something.

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