I’ve been reading your stories, KV Thompson, and I can’t even fathom the strength within you. And I can’t help, I guess. But I wanted to share something with you.
You seem very committed to enduring this unbearable pain quietly, and without disturbing anyone else and I think that is a noble thing for you to want. But if I may just suggest another avenue that you may not feel very comfortable with. You’re already, to some degree, doing this and I hope it is alleviating even the tiniest burden from your shoulders.
But maybe try this: instead of assuming that the result of you sharing that pain will be an increase in someone else’s pain, maybe consider all of the women, and children, and sisters who have lost a brother, or a father, or a child out there in the world. Think of how many of them are feeling so, so alone and hopeless right at this very moment. Think about how many of them don’t believe that anyone else could understand. Or, perhaps, they don’t want to “spread their pain”.
In sparing them your grief, you also deprive them of someone they can relate to. Maybe you are the ONLY one they will relate to. Think of the gift your sharing would be to them.
And then just keep on writing about whatever you need to write about. Those who need you will find you. But not if you’re silent.
Bless your heart, the world is so not fucking fair.
I’m so sorry for all of it. xoxo