It is true that many laws have been enacted in the name of gender equality. That in itself is upsetting; that we people have to be forced to allow women to thrive. But let’s not be naive: for every lawyer fighting for equal rights for women there are 2 discovering loopholes to circumvent the system.

And it happens to men, as well. For example, women are often given primary custody of their children in a divorce without men getting proper consideration.

It is a 2 way street, legally, with much work still to be done.

But it is rarely a courtroom I find myself in when on the losing end of “equality”.

It is losing my carpool slot riding to work because even though I pay the same as the rest of the passengers and drive the same number of days, because I don’t hug a certain male driver and let him grope me as I exit each morning, I’m told “not to fucking bother” next month. Even though I’ve explained that I’ve been raped and dislike being touched. Not that I should have to.

For me, it is less about what the laws say is available to me, and more about the thousand tiny indignities I’ve suffered that have no legal recourse-or even if they do, the odds of fighting the magnitude of it all, in tiny pieces, are astronomical so why bother?

For me, it’s about the fact that the same man who will put a hand on my thigh or slip it under my skirt would ABSOLUTELY FREAK THE FUCK OUT IF A MAN DID THE SAME TO HIM.

But no matter how I try to explain why it is not okay, HE CANNOT GET PAST “JUST TRYING TO BE NICE”. A man? He would never allow that but if a WOMAN wanted to touch him he would be flattered and he just CANNOT understand why I am not.

So tell me how to fix that.

Or tell me I should thank my lucky stars he wants me.