I’m staying the fuck put. We haven’t OFFICIALLY seceded, but down deep in our feely places, we never really joined. Maybe if we’re real quiet and still they won’t notice us. I’m pretty sure the Chief-in-waiting already thinks we’re part of Canada.

So you’re all invited to visit, if you can get across the border and over the wall.

We have killer weed in these parts, and if you play your cards* right, there won’t be another person for miles.

*solitaire, obvi.

I still don’t know what I want to be when I grow up, but I know I want it to be spelled right and punctuated correctly. I guess that’s something.