I’m sorry. I was making a joke when I brought up man talk; I am fiercely against men addressing women at a more intimate level than the one at which they’re acquainted. Does that make sense? If you don’t know a woman well enough to make a reference about her body, then why would you expect her to be any less than offended if you did that? ( I’m using you in the general, not to refer to you specifically). I also find it disrespectful for men to say something about a woman to their friends that they wouldn’t say if she were sitting next to them. That kind of works the opposite way, though. I think it’s way less disrespectful for a group of guys to say something like, “Damn! Did you see the new waitress at the cafe? Girl has an ass on her!” than for one of them to say, about his girlfriend, for example, “Oh, you guys! Anna just started doing this new THING with her tongue and it’s amazing” …etc and so on.
I don’t know if this makes sense at all. Here’s my way out there point-
Not everything should be made into a federal case, and I think that at this point in time, EVERYTHING has been made into a federal case.
The fact is that guys are going to talk about pretty girls. Also, women are going to dish about hot guys. The problems start when someone either can’t figure out where the line is, or doesn’t give a shit that the line is there. I feel like the line should be less of a mystery than it seems to be.
I think the rule about not doing it if you wouldn’t want someone else to do it to your mother, or your sister, or your daughter is a pretty fair indicator.
But sometimes, good guys are going to play by the right rules, and still manage to offend someone. And in that situation it is perfectly reasonable to let yourself off the hook and refuse to own any guilt about that.
You control your behavior and your attitude and not a single other thing in this world. So if you know in your heart that you behaved appropriately, and there happened to be a negative reaction ( someone else’s attitude and behavior; not your business), just let it go. You don’t get to fix something you didn’t break. But you can move yourself somewhere else so things don’t escalate.
If we would all just tend to our own garden and let everyone else tend to theirs, this would clean itself up.
But we want to force change in others. When all we can really change is ourselves.