I want to qualify my other response by saying-i WAS the wife, and I WAS the other woman (after being the wife, even). I was vehemently anti-affair and yet I firmly believed what he told me. I basically felt like I was helping, after he got finished with me. She was sick, and couldn’t continue to live where he HAD to stay, for work. They were going to remain friends. But like your guy-they hadn’t had sex in years; she was physically incapable due to her illness…she knew about me and wanted him to be happy but just wanted me to wait until she moved back to California before I “showed myself”, just because even though it was the right thing it still hurt.
They were going to remain very good friends; it was really what they were anyway. He needed a partner. He needed me. I was all he would ever need.
The entire story was UTTER BULLSHIT.
And I swallowed it hook, line and sinker.
So I don’t judge the mistress ( not the one from my marriage or any other) because I know how convincing they can be.
And I know the person who made the vows is at fault.
Far too many wives forget that and focus all of their rage and hurt on the other woman.