I waited tables for many years in Alaska and I remember servers telling me black people and “natives” didn’t tip, but I never noticed much, if any, difference. I always thought “maybe you’re just an asshole” when someone would roll their eyes if a black or Alaska Native family sat in their section. I haven’t eaten in many other places, and I’m sorry to hear that what I thought was just a “Alaskans are ignorant from being up here all by themselves” thing is actually one more aspect of systemic racism.

I can empathize from a different experience in my life, somewhat (though obviously, it’s not exactly the same thing). I’m an alcoholic in recovery, and every, single time a server recites the drink special only to have me reply with “I’ll just have water, thanks.” I watch their face fall. At that point, one of two things happen: they continue to give me decent service but at a faster pace, to get me the hell out of there and free up the table for a drinker, or they basically ignore me, because we all know the water girl orders a half-salad and a cup of soup and sits for 4 hours then doesn’t tip so Fuck her.

And if they do that last one, I give them what they want. 10%, generally, because I’ve had to sit there way too long, and no tip just confirms their suspicions but 10% says, “Too bad you were a dick, because clearly, I understand the mechanics behind leaving a tip, and I’ve chosen purposely to leave you less than what is standard for good service, because you were less than good. Go suck it.”

It’s too bad for them, too, because I am a chronic WAYYY over-tipper. But I don’t feel any obligation to prove that to them. I did for a long time but I eventually got over it.

❤like my old granny used to say,

Fuck 'em.”

I still don’t know what I want to be when I grow up, but I know I want it to be spelled right and punctuated correctly. I guess that’s something.

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store