I totally feel ya, as a woman. But theres something I’ve noticed, for me personally: there have definitely been men I have dated who smelled bad to me. These guys werent dirty (and conversely, if I *did* enjoy the way a man smelled, it was not contingent on his state of cleanliness-I loved it ALL), and we weren’t necessarily physically incompatible. Some of us had great sex. The man who gave me some of the greatest orgasms of my life smelled AWFUL to me. I similarly did not enjoy the natural scent of my ex-husband.
You mentioned pheromones, and this is what I eventually decided was going on. I think if you are drawn to a person’s pheromones, their smell is going to drive you crazy with lust no matter what. And if you’re not, it just won’t.
And I think there is very little we can do about that, other than listen to it and heed what it is trying to tell us.
Any man who hasn’t smelled absolutely delicious to me has eventually proven to be someone I couldn’t pair with.
Anyway, that’s my experience, for what it’s worth.