I think that I’d define what you wrote here as a braided essay; a mix of your view of a thing backed up by generally accepted research and statistics. And there’s nothing wrong with that. The problem I have with what you wrote is that rather than presenting problem areas within the framework of the current climate in regards to gender and offering possible solutions, you attempted to completely disprove the legitimacy of the existence of female gender bias, while attempting to prove that actually, the bias is one against males.
And that’s just irresponsible.
The fact is, all of those things you minimized? The dangers that accompany a cultural acceptance of the objectification of women; the reinforcement of rape culture; the fact that women are being brutalized and assaulted and raped and murdered for what basically comes down to injuring a man’s self-esteem by rejecting his advances…it’s like you’re saying that those things are OKAY.
The culture exists. This woman’s essay speaks to the reality of being a woman in this world. It is THE TRUTH. It has ALWAYS been the truth. But that does not mean that it always has to be.
However, minimizing or denying the existence of this truth helps no one. And your choice to stand up and rebut that truth by trying to sell the Kool Aid that paints women as the instigators and men as the victims is damaging to both women AND men.
Because YOU ARE RIGHT.
Because women have finally decided to stand up and demand change, some good things are happening. But also, some bad things are happening. As is always the case when someone stands up to oppression, there end up being extremist groups who take things way too far. I know that men (at least the decent ones) are constantly on guard and scared shitless when it comes to interacting with women today. That’s because there’s no easy way to draw a line, so all of these blanket statements get made, and everyone gets pushed under the same label. And that’s not fair.
Women and men should be working together in this, because the truth is, predators are going to continue to seek prey. We can’t stop that. And by putting all men under that blanket and forcing them to guard themselves against the possibility of having his life ruined because of a simple misunderstanding, we are alienating the men we should be welcoming as allies in this. Allies against men who batter, and subjugate, and attack, and intentionally ruin women’s lives.
The men who have been the reason we’ve had to develop survival instincts to walk home from work after dark.
I know that in my little corner of the world, the ratio of men who harm to men who abhor the idea of causing harm is far more in favor of the latter. But we are scared of them all, because everyone has now had to become wary of the person in front of them.
Because of articles and ideals like you displayed, that pit us against each other. When really, we should all be standing together against PREDATORS and BULLIES and NARCISSISTS and each pathology I mentioned exists not only in men, but in women.
As women, we should no more allow the abuse of men than we would the abuse of other women. A predator is a predator.
We are fighting the wrong enemy. We are fighting each other. In the meantime, the real enemy is somewhere giving zero fucks what any of us have to say. He is a politician, or she is a journalist…and they’re watching as we attack each other, waiting to strike when we are down. and we think we’re working on the problem, but the real problem isn’t even part of our discussion.
and because of that, none of us are safe.