I think a lot of people do this, IW, to an extent. It is polite not to have our crap all over everyone’s white carpet. But we do that for someone elses benefit, in order to keep from burdening them.

That part of this is already done, though. If you visited my mother’s house you would not be able to detect tension between my father and me or my brother and me. We know how to behave ourselves. But this thing my mother does has nothing to do with that. My brother and i live thousands of miles from the rest of our family. This is her asking the two of us to generate a false relationship no one else will ever see so that she can feel okay about the fact that he is abusive towards my kids and me and the reality that I have chosen to no longer accept that behavior from him.

It’s a crazy reach she’s trying to have over our actions…

I still don’t know what I want to be when I grow up, but I know I want it to be spelled right and punctuated correctly. I guess that’s something.

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