I like you. Also very interested in this permanent separation of which you speak. My own mom, 67, is still married to my drug addicted alcoholic narcissistic father because if she divorces him she will be destitute. Hes on full VA disability and she left teaching 1.5 years before retirement to take care of him and so lost 60% of her retirement and his disability is all she has now.
I wouldn’t call it a marriage.
But I’m interested in any ideas you have that I could use to help her reframe her situation and put more distance between them.
Also, she used to be very much his puppet and had no life of her own, to avoid his rages but she pretty much disregards his demands now and carries on how she wants to. So that is good.