I know you don’t think so, but I promise, this is all very normal. Sure, your hormones are raging. But also, it’s all TRUE.
Everything is going to change. You are rightly grieving. Your childless self is dead and gone, and you will grieve the loss like any other profound loss in life.
But, you are already a mother. Whether you choose abortion, adoption, or to raise your child, you will never NOT be a mother again. You have a life growing in you. That is motherhood. And even with all the side-effects of pregnancy, this is still the easiest part.
And the hardest. Its hard having to reinvent yourself as this “baby-vessel", where everything you ingest affects another person in a life and death way.
But please just know, even if you breastfeed (i HATED breastfeeding, and i wont apologize for it), the part where you cant have any fun is REALLY short. And no, you dont want to become a drunk. But you would be FAR from the first mommy who refused to give up the “extras" you enjoyed before baby.
Everything will change. But the stuff you are most afraid of losing is all very temporary.
The things you’ll gain are forever.