I know. And I’m usually pretty comfortable with that. I had been in a verbal sparring match with my daughter in this case and only glanced quickly at the checker before jokingly roping them into the conversation. It wasn’t until they spoke and I made eye contact that I even realized I wasn’t sure, and by then I had already committed them to the male pronoun ( which I now believe was inaccurate).
Honestly, I don’t think the moment was nearly as awkward for them as it was for my daughter, and 99% of that was pure teenager. Because she is far more at ease with gender fluidity than I am; it takes me a sec to relax and not be scared to cause ignorance-induced hurt feelings.
I think it always takes the previous generation longer to adapt to the changing norms. But as long as we are trying, we will get better at it.
Do you know what upsets me? Knowing that there have always been people who felt like they were in the wrong body. There have always been people who weren’t born cis-gendered, just as there have always been people attracted to the same gender. And yet we are only now beginning to accept that reality and welcome people to live as who they truly are. And we have a long way to go.
I think of all those people who had to hide who they were for the sake of self (but not self)-preservation, and it breaks my heart.