I have had the exact same experience with 12-step meetings. I am truly happy for anyone it works for in a one-stop shopping sort of way. I am.
What drives me away every time is the “you are basically lazy and uncommitted if you aren’t actively working the steps with a sponsor (FOREVER, by the way), you are selfish and self-centered if you have worked through the steps but are not now paying that forward by sponsoring other women, and therefore there is no way in hell you are going to succeed and when you don’t we will be right here to say I told you so” rhetoric.
There are some aspects with great promise. But the judgy, almost gleeful way some members await other addicts' “failures” is so beyond sick I can’t stand it.
And it’s extremelu difficult to find a group or a sponsor who will work within a person’s antipsychotic medication regimen. And people who insist on “no substances whatsoever” are costing precious lives by convincing newcomers, eager for something to believe in and lonely for interaction, to go off meds without considering the consequences of that decision.
A lot is wrong with AA. That said, with careful scrutiny and a lot of patience, I did find some amazing forever friends there, and they are with me whether I’m attending meetings or not.
I just passed my 7 year sobriety birthday on the 10th.
I did not go to a meeting.
I’m totally cool with that.
Also still sober so…
Anyway congratulations on two years.
I hope you never forget that you are a miracle. ❤