I dont understand how anyone has an appetite on a first date anyway. Sitting there, next to basically a total stranger, trying to remember to

  • Chew with mouth closed
  • Speak with mouth empty
  • Keep from dripping something all over my shirt.
  • Cover mouth if he says something funny to avoid spraying him with breadcrumbs
  • Not look like an idiot trying to make big food into little food to fit it on my fork (julia Roberts, I’m not)
  • Not choke
  • Not finish my meal looking like I should have worn a hazmat suit (or even a bib, actually)

Seriously I could go on all day long.

Who ARE these super-confident women? Even if I went out with a guy I wasn’t interested in dating (for some bizarre reason), he would still be a person I dont know and therefore don’t want to eat in front of.

Maybe it’s just me. I don’t know. But, just noooo...

I still don’t know what I want to be when I grow up, but I know I want it to be spelled right and punctuated correctly. I guess that’s something.

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store