I can’t write mine. At all. I started to try and instead turned it into an intensive on the development of my vices, with assault mentioned in one sentence in the background.

I just can’t.

I just can’t.

Because my stuff was partly my fault.

And I don’t mind admitting that.

But I still can’t point my finger and assign blame. I KNOW. I KNOW now and even down deep that what happened to me was rape.

And beyond that there have been a million and one lesser indignities endured.

But I’m afraid to write it right. I’m afraid of someone telling me I’m wrong.

I get the way other people’s stories have affected you. I do. But this piece right here that you published is exactly why I’m petrified to publish my story. ☹

One more invalidation after a lifetime full of them.

I just cannot.

I still don’t know what I want to be when I grow up, but I know I want it to be spelled right and punctuated correctly. I guess that’s something.

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store