Heath, I hope you read my response to your first post about this. I have been where you are and I am here if you ever need to talk about it, because I anticipate you will spend far more time ruminating on the why than you think you will. No closure is a devastating thing. Our brains naturally want to reconcile traumatic change but this will have no reconciliation. And I promise you, for the first year, if I hadn’t had my friend Tricia, who let me go over and over and over the whole thing, in detail, as I tried to work it out; who never judged me, or lost her patience with me, or told me to get over it already--i may not be here now.
And I need to pay that forward whenever I can.
So anyways, if you need to vent and then vent the same vent two days later and then two days after that, feel free.