Hahahaha…in The Big Book they talk a lot about willpower and how alcoholics have to turn their wills and their lives over to the power of God in order to even start to recover. Also, we get reintroduced to the idea of prayer, only a totally different kind of prayer than most addicts are familiar with.

it says, “We pray only for the knowledge of God’s will for us and the power to carry that out.”

that’s it. No, “please let my dad stay cancer free” or “please rain down impeachment on Donald Trump” prayers. Just, “God, help me to know your will for me and guide me in carrying it out.”

A lot of newbies get pissy about this. They feel like they walk in and immediately hear they are no longer in charge of their own lives because they’re weak, and they feel like they’re being told to no longer exercise their own free will

..and I totally get that.

But there’s a caveat later. We do exercise free will. We are still in the driver’s seat, so to speak. But time has proven over and over that we are most successful when we do it like the book suggests:

Every day is a day when we must carry the vision of God’s will into all of our activities. "How can I best serve Thee - Thy will (not mine) be done." These are thoughts which must go with us constantly. We can exercise our will power along this line all we wish. It is the proper use of the will-- the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous, page 85

It took me a long time and lots of practice to have the epiphany that praying for knowledge of God’s will for me was not the same as praying that God’s will for me was for me to get my way.

It sounds so silly, but it was really a struggle lol.

I wish for you everything you are meant to have and be and do and become. ☺

I still don’t know what I want to be when I grow up, but I know I want it to be spelled right and punctuated correctly. I guess that’s something.