Great. Now I can’t stop thinking about dirty sex with 1993 Val Kilmer. He’s butt naked under his duster, except for the cowboy hat that’s covering his junk. He’s got a flask of bourbon, and I’ve got a 72 oz bottle of Dilaudid.

Then 2016 Val Kilmer swallows him whole.

He washes him down with a frozen pizza.


The end.

I still don’t know what I want to be when I grow up, but I know I want it to be spelled right and punctuated correctly. I guess that’s something.

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