From experience, I will tell you that he probably never spoke an honest word in your presence. And I imagine you know this, but any relationship where one party is lying to the other about something as big as where the dick has been…I mean, THEY ARE still intimate…is not a happy and healthy one. I’ve been on both sides of this And I can say that being lied to on this scale means she is making her life decisions based on a complete fabrication. Would she make the same ones if she knew the truth?
That is the worst betrayal there is. You probably weren’t the first, you definitely won’t be the last. And if he had ended it with her to be with you, he would have cheated on you too. The only anomaly for cheaters is honesty and monogamy.
I hope you really didn’t get too attached. These are hard to get over. If you keep “cutting ties”, that means you also keep letting him in again. Don’t. Keep a strong resolve. No contact.
Someone who has been there