I am coming up on five years without a drink, which I have never accomplished before now matter how many times I’ve tried and I usually don’t write about anything about sobriety online in the open, but suddenly I’m getting all these connections popping up and I’m thinking maybe I will start doing more of that. I was even thinking about starting a new pub strictly devoted to sobriety or at least healthy living. The problem for me is, I have relapsed so many damn times I am a) so afraid of jynxing myself (well, that’s the way I spell it little squiggly red line) and b) I just feel like I’d get it thrown back in …
Five years is a notable accomplishment. You should be proud of yourself. You should not celebrate. ☺
Not in the traditional sense, anyway. I, too was a chronic relapser, so I know exactly what you mean about setting yourself up ( jinxing).
Have you done any work with relapse prevention? Its super annoying shit but it actually really works if you are serious about taking it seriously. Once you understand how long before you take a drink the relapse actually starts and the little changes in your thinking and behavior that indicate the process is starting, you are able to address those changes early and prevent the forward momentum of the relapse process. You should look into it if you haven’t (or haven’t in a while).
Five years is about 1,825 days. But on your anniversary, only one of those days is going to matter.