Ezinne Ukoha I LOVE THIS.

My ex was remarried within a year. We’ve now been divorced for six. At first, as a thirty-something, everyone was very supportive of me taking my time. But now, at 43, they act like I am just EXPECTING TOO MUCH. Like being broke and single is a disease. Like if I REALLY loved my children, I would hurry up and get hitched so we could relax.

My ex tells the kids he really hopes I find someone someday.

Unlike you, I’ve been married. And while love doesn’t sound BAD to me, right now it sounds EXHAUSTING.

Because I’m not 25. And I don’t want to deal with jealousy or insecurity or immaturity anymore.

If I ever do decide to enter into such a union again, it will be with a GROWN-UP.

And they’re hard to find.

And the fact that finding one isn’t my highest priority baffles my married friends to no end.

I stand with you in your choice not to settle.


I still don’t know what I want to be when I grow up, but I know I want it to be spelled right and punctuated correctly. I guess that’s something.

Love podcasts or audiobooks? Learn on the go with our new app.

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store