Ellie,

This response is heartfelt and meant only as a suggestion. As someone at odds with my own father long into my 30s, for many reasons, I learned some hard lessons these past few days.

I’m 43 now. I finally about a year ago decided for his and my mom’s sakes to let my dad be who he was and love him anyway, because he was clearly never going to change.

Dad died unexpectedly on Friday.

And the year I “accepted him”, which originally I did for them, turned out to be the biggest gift I could have given myself.

Know that I avoided trigger topics with him, only bringing up subjects I knew wouldn’t cause us to argue. Should I have had to censor myself? Probably not. But I’m grateful I did.

I only wish I had done it at 25.

❤ peace.

I still don’t know what I want to be when I grow up, but I know I want it to be spelled right and punctuated correctly. I guess that’s something.

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