Did I ever come back and tell you thank you for this post, Sean Howard ? I don’t think I did. Thank. You.
I wrote a piece a couple of years ago…it was during the Fifty Shades of Grey sensationalism and it was just as I was realizing how indoctrinated I was into the culture of misogyny. I’ve wanted to post it here a few times but alas, the sensation had long since passed and I fear it is now dated.
Except, the premise is not. Here we are in North America ( looping Canada in, see? ;P), 2014. We have Rebecca Solnit just putting out Men Explain Things to Me. We have Laci Green running a KICK ASS YouTube Channel for young people on being sex positive — explaning non-binary gender distinctions and consent and orgasms in ways that teens and old ladies like me can absorb and comprehend…
But the highest grossing novel is Fifty Shades of Grey. And I’m going to go out on a limb and say women in their 30s and 40s are the majority consumer.
Now, I have nothing against BDSM play, or any other type of sex between consenting adults. But these were not regular adults. This was an incredibly wealthy, incredibly emotionally damaged narcissist and a much younger, immature, inexperienced VIRGIN.
This was a relationship built on disordered personalities. It was a woman being subjugated to the extreme. It was EVERYTHING that we, as a nation, were speaking out against at the top of our voices…but in our homes, we were immersing ourselves in it.
I started realizing how much I had bought into old fashioned gender roles.
It was not pretty. But I’ve been working on it since.