As a cis-hetero female, I just wanted to tell you, don’t give up! Don’t let body and facial hair determine whether you are womanly enough. Do not let it make you doubt yourself.

Because it is not yours, or any trans woman’s, struggle alone.

I am 47 years old, and I have always had an abundance of hair (except, oddly, on my arms. So weird!). For about 10 years, I could get by with plucking my chin and upper lip a couple times a week. Then it was every other day. Then it grew into a ridiculous constant daily battle and finally, a couple of years ago i just tossed the tweezers altogether and broke out the razer. Now i shave every morning, and by mid-day my shadow is clearly visible.

And don’t get me wrong: it has been traumatic for me. I regularly get upset about it. I think about the day they tell us we can ditch our masks and I can feel my anxiety rise just from the thought.

But I really try not to let it weaken my identity, and so when I hear someone like you, with all the struggles you have so bravely weathered, talking as if this…this HAIR thing…might be the straw that breaks your back; that it is what makes you question yourself.

I mean, the male hormones did what they thought they were supposed to, so to battle that back will take effort.

But then how am i supposed to feel okay about me?

I just wanted to remind you that women come in all sorts of packages, so don’t spend too much energy wondering if yours is ok.

If mine is, then yours is to.

I still don’t know what I want to be when I grow up, but I know I want it to be spelled right and punctuated correctly. I guess that’s something.

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