And only the first. Believe me, I know this feels like you’re being ripped apart from the inside some moments, and it will take as long as it takes before you feel better. My urologist (yeah, I know. Who knew?) told me no less than one full turn of the calendar, and not to listen to people who said I need to get over him already. Because people will.
But what I’ve learned (and there have been many “hims” since the first one for me) is that when, like you said, the woman seems to be the one always entertaining them man, that is reason enough to take a serious look at the relationship. Because if you are always jumping through hoops to keep things moving forward and you’re always having to drag him behind you, you don’t need to try and figure out why.
There is only one reason a man doesn’t try, even when he knows it’s hurting you that he isn’t…
This is some of the most important information ever given to me, and even after I got it, I probably kept 3 or 4 more comatose relationships on life support with sheer will and force, because I didn’t want all the time and effort I’d put in to turn out to be for nothing. Because I loved him. Because I didn’t want to be alone…
He was your first, and I think it’s lovely that things ended with a whimper and not a bang. You will probably stay friends, after some time goes by. No one cheated; no one stalked; nobody boiled a bunny. It’s incredibly sad to say goodbye but time heals almost everything, and maybe one day, you will be just so grateful to have a friend who knows you this well…maybe not.
I guess that’s up to you.
Good Luck, Ellie Guzman!!! ❤