And it’s also necessary to walk through whatever you are experiencing in life. if all you ever did was focus outward, then you would never make progress conquering your own demons. the ego i’m talking about is that place we go when we isolate and shut everyone out (consciously or unconsciously; alone or in a group where we still can’t be a part of our surroundings because all we are capable of is fear) and then we feel like we’re spiraling downward with no way back to the surface. that is when we reach out to another; not for help, but TO help; to get us out of our own head long enough to recharge, and breathe, and see a different landscape than the one we’ve been replaying ad infinitum in our heads.

There is nothing wrong with being the person who NEEDS help; if you’re still accepting another’s hand to pull you up, you’re not singularly focused on yourself. but even when you (i’m using you in general terms) can’t manage that much, it’s okay. temporarily. but if you want to pull yourself up, i promise, you will be entirely more successful if you pull yourself up in service to another.

because let’s face it. when I am in that place, the last thing i’m able to do is see any value in myself or reason for my existence. but i can easily look at another suffering human being and see the value in them, and want to ease their mind and offer kind words and affirmations of the value they bring to the world.

i help other people so that I won’t feel shitty all the time. it’s a selfish act, too, when you break it down. but it’s not a self-destructive selfish act. it’s healing.

I still don’t know what I want to be when I grow up, but I know I want it to be spelled right and punctuated correctly. I guess that’s something.

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