and i think if you examined movies by Walt Disney, you’d draw the opposite conclusions.
you really just have it all figured out, don’t you? i feel like I could totally respect your opinions, and feel comfortable agreeing to disagree on many points you raise. except you aren’t presenting these points as YOUR OPINIONS. Instead, you’re stating your supporting details as if they are, indeed, FACTS.
They’re NOT. You cite data that supports a few of your opinions, but even then, you’re very much still just using your own experience as a point of reference and wording it as if this IS THE WAY IT IS for all of us. And i don’t disagree with everything you’ve written, by the way. but I’ll still point it out if you’re just pulling something out of your personal belief system and wording it as if it’s “just the way things are”
You are certainly entitled to your opinions, and I support your right to share them with the entire world, if you like. I just really dislike your tone. It is full of the implication that because you’ve defined your world as you have, those of us who feel differently should be labeled as man-haters, and hypocrites, and that we’re living in some horrible imagined world of our own creation, where we’ve decided men are big, mean bullies that we must destroy. reality exists for you where women are gentle and weak and should defer to the big men who only want to protect and love us. if only we would stop being so mean to them! they’re just trying to take care of us. and what do we do? we don’t go out with them when we don’t find them attractive. (because men allllll over are just sweeping girls they find repulsive off their feet and whisking them away to the castle, where they can put their feet up for eternity and be pampered by their dashing prince). and we don’t appreciate their attempts at courting us…their whistles as we walk by; their comments when we turn down (yet another ) advance (what? Do you like girls or something?). Their appreciation for our bodies (are your boobs getting bigger?) that when not acknowledged are reworded (you’re really putting on the weight. your tits are huge now)…
they are just being NICE and what do we do? We IGNORE them. We shut down. We start avoiding the places we know they’ll be.
It’s all very damaging to their self-esteem, I’m sure. How dare we complain about catcalling when we are subjecting men to so many more horrible things?
See, I know PLENTY of men who don’t have this particular self-esteem problem. They don’t constantly feel rejected. Because they have the common sense not to act like complete douche bags when they interact with women.
Holy cow you have me completely flabbergasted. wow.
You get to see the world as you wish to. But so do the rest of us. I choose to see reality. Neither “side” is the “right” side of this debate. but there is little defense for treating people like shit, no matter who they are.
for you to invalidate the reality that is MEN OBJECTIFYING AND DEPERSONALIZING WOMEN, as a woman, is reprehensible. It may very well be true that some men feel vulnerable or worry about being the target of someone’s accusation.
But, why do you think that is? And what men do you think feel that way?
See, here’s what I think (note: this is my personal opinion, and not a statement of universal FACT):
Women have issued a global request for change of the historical status quo. They don’t want to be property anymore. They don’t want to be second class citizens anymore. And many, many men have heeded the call and adjusted accordingly, without a second thought given to the matter except, “Of COURSE it should be this way.”
Those who resist, who insist on holding tight to their old ideals and behaviors…they are the men who feel slighted, and cheated, and discriminated against. because they are living in the past, and they’re angry that things are changing. because the past was their past. They OWNED that shit. And they don’t want to give it up. Not for anything.
and because this changes the way the world views them, and they aren’t treated like golden boys, allowed to get away with everything, blaming the victims for dressing like sluts, or being too drunk; shaming us when we behave like them and take what we want without regarding the effects that will have on other people,
they’ve decided to “become” the victims they’ve always so easily placed blame upon. and still, they think that THEY should be the exception that doesn’t get treated that way.
So, that’s how *I* feel about it. And no man who is decent to other people has any reason to be offended by my words. i don’t care if he likes to baby his wife, or prefers she remain a stay-at-home mom while he works, or dominates in the bedroom, or prefers traditional gender roles in his home. If he RESPECTS WOMEN, regardless of his personal views on the subject of gender, then i’m not talking about him. the rest of that is his business.
Don’t assault us. Don’t force us. Don’t subjugate us. Don’t insult us. Don’t repress us. Don’t blame us. Don’t bully us. Don’t shame us.
I don’t give a flying fuck how you feel about us as long as you have the self-control to treat us with respect anyway.
I never treat a man with anything but tolerance and kindness until he treats me otherwise. But, please believe, I will not allow him to act that way so he can be spared feelings of insecurity and loneliness and inferiority and avoid sinking into depression and self hatred. Screw that.
Quid pro quo. That’s all this should be about. The golden rule.